Realizing I have expensive taste.

When I was little, my mom would always have a mantra.

“Look at the price tags first before you consider the product.”

That especially applied to items like clothing and shoes. I was taught to be frugal, to save the money for a rainy day. Though my materialistic desires haven’t stopped, and at some points I felt a bit stifled.

Maybe that’s why my spending has gotten a little haywire in recent months.

In high school, friends would walk around texting their friends with BlackBerries while I had no phone. Some classmates walked around with TNA bags and wore Aritzia jackets. Instead I just waited until things would go on sale, and not go into the expensive stories.

My tastes began to change as I entered university. My campus was right in the heart of downtown Toronto. After class, I would shop the racks, buying blouses at H&M, skinny jeans at Forever 21 and tanks and Urban Outfitters. Always shopped the sale section, but shopping became a much common occurrence.

An internship in Hong Kong after university, I would go on weekly shopping trips every weekend. Then I got a job in Sudbury, and my time away from the centre of all that shopping made me feel deprived of the thrill and experiences of scoring a big deal.

Now that I live on my own downtown, my desire to shop has only grown. Stores like Nordstrom Rack, Aritzia, The Bay, Zara and Winners are only within steps away. Now, it’s extremely easy for me to shop the racks after work. I also have a full time job, which allows me to spend a bit more at high street brands.

For the record, I am doing OK, and have enough in case of emergencies. But I do have occasional shopping sprees. The pandemic has only exacerbated my desire for shopping to a level I think is getting unhealthy.

I recently looked up my bank account, and became a bit embarrassed by how much I spent over the month of December. I always justify my purchases because sales happen a month before my birthday. I now realize I have to slow down.

I’m hoping to hold myself accountable by tracking my progress to save. So here are my 2022 goals.

1. Shop less at Aritzia, and making impulse purchases
2. Spend more on experiences
3. Cook more/ eat out less
4. If you buy clothing, try to buy secondhand instead
5. Don’t let social media hype influence your desires
6. Spend more time taking care of your body.

Feeling all the FOMO.

The BTS concert is this week, and I am not going to be able to experience the group’s first live shows in front an audience.

It’s a moment I have long been waiting for as a relatively new fan. The group has helped me get through extremely lonely and tough times during the pandemic and in life. And I’ve been eagerly anticipating the group’s return for some time now.

I realize this is a first world problem, but the reason I’m not there is because I was guilted into staying for work because of a holiday special that is taking place. The show I work on is also going through a few challenges for reasons I will not go into detail for. For that reason, it would be a jerk move of me to leave on the fly on such short notice.

Still, I can’t help but feel jealousy and a bit of sadness knowing that I would have had tickets to the show with a friend had I been allowed to go. I had asked for the time off almost two months in advance, only to find out at the last moments that I had to stay to work.

A part of me hopes good karma will come my way and I will get to see the group perform soon. For now, I have tickets to see Eric Nam and Epik High, which are good options for performances. But how amazing would it have been for BTS to be my first concert back?!

I hope this full circle moment will come for me and others soon. For now, I will enjoy the livestream of the concert, front row in my own living room.

Climbing my way up..

I recently started rock climbing as a form of exercise, and I am surprisingly liking it a lot. It’s a combination of strategy, problem-solving and strength. And I love the creativity involved in how to solve each route.

I was first alerted to the sport by my boyfriend who has been climbing for more than 10 years, although he was a bit hesitant for me to join first because it was something he did as a solitary activity. But during the Olympics, he encouraged me to go to a climbing gym to talk to people about the beauty of the sport. My interest sparked even further afterwards. So after the Games, we both decide to get a membership to a local gym close by.

The first time I tried to climb a wall, I struggled a lot to keep upright. I kept bending my arms to stay up, and approached the routes like I was climbing a ladder. My arms were extremely sore two days later, and I even pulled a muscle while sleeping. But I was encouraged to keep trying.

I started making progress two weeks later, as I made a routine of going to the climbing gym twice a week. I started keeping my arms straight, trying out new positions and changing my footwork. With more and more climbing sessions, I was improving and making gains.

In the past, I approached exercise as a chore. It was something I had to do to stay fit, so I would grit and bear through the pain just to get over it. Sometimes, I would avoid working out at all, just because I wasn’t having fun or making any progress. I would be extremely hard on myself, feeling like I would never be at my personal best.

These days I look forward to the gym because I want to keep improving. I feel free climbing up walls, exploring new routes and solving problems. My boyfriend says “it’s just climbing. Stop being so competitive.” But I haven’t felt the need to improve myself physically in so long.

Now I am noticing how much stronger I am getting. But not only that, this activity is helping me build perseverance. Sometimes I fall off the wall when I am going for a route. My fear of falling and failing is slowly going away. And with each climb, I am more and more determined in solving each problem. I hope this sport can help me in other aspects of my life.

Life updates, work changes and more!

I need to really hold myself accountable in keeping a journal, whether it is written or online. I used to be so good at updating my journals as a way to keep writing and find enjoyment in the craft.

When you write for a living, it becomes hard to keep doing it for fun. Sometimes all I want to do is lie down, nap and watch Korean dramas on Netflix not thinking about anything else.

At this very moment, I am writing while on shift at 6 AM. It’s been a pretty chill morning, as there isn’t much breaking news. Since last writing, I have FINALLY(!) gotten a permanent job after working on contract/casual basis as a journalist. I work for a local morning show in the city.

Working on this show has been mostly fulfilling, but at the same time I always want more. I am exhausted a lot of the time — which may be a symptom of having my schedule changed three times in one year. And other times, I want to find ways where I can improve and grow so that I can work on a big show.

In recent years, I have developed dreams to work in the U.S., or a publication that can give me the prestige of journalism. In Canada, I feel that I have reached a pretty good place, but I want to get to a point where I can tell stories and produce radio documentaries I can be truly proud of.

My friend recently moved to New York City, and while I am so happy for her, I can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy. I want to be able to experience this kind of big city life, do good work and be amidst all the culture. She is not in journalism anymore of course, but she is still close enough to the industry. I want to get to the point where I can keep doing this.

Is it just applying for jobs? Networking? Freelancing? Updating my portfolio constantly? I need to find a way to stand out for people to notice. The first steps is to figure out how.

OK, SEE YOU: What Kim’s Convenience means to an East Asian Canadian woman

Kim’s Convenience, a CBC sitcom that documents a Korean-Canadian family running a convenience store in Toronto, has officially ended.

The announcement that the show would end was made in February on social media, in which a statement confirmed the co-creators of the program would be moving on to other projects after completing Kim’s fifth season. 

The show was created by Ins Choi, who wrote the play the show is based on, and writer Kevin White. 

“Given their departure from the series, we have come to the difficult conclusion that we cannot deliver another season of the same heart and quality that has made the show so special,” the show’s statement said. 

Having watched this show religiously since its premiere in October 2016, this is a heartbreaking blow. Not only because I knew I had to say goodbye to characters I’ve grown attached to. But because this show deserved to end on its own terms and give fans proper closure. 

It’s especially disappointing when we are seeing a rise of anti-Asian racism around the world a year into COVID-19. Now more than ever, we need to see examples of Asian joy and humour to uplift us and show us that there is more to us than our skin colour. 

The show is particularly meaningful because it has been a companion to me over the past five years, especially at times when I was feeling isolated and alone. Its characters have grown alongside me during some of my ups and downs. 

My love for it has continued to grow during the pandemic, when we all aren’t able to see our family and friends the way that we used to. 

But most of all, the show made me feel seen as an East Asian Canadian woman, because there has been no sitcom like this seen on Canadian TV before. Based on a play with the same name, Kim’s Convenience was the first Canadian television show to feature an Asian cast of lead actors. 

While much of Kim’s Convenience is set in a convenience store, the show follows the Kim family interacting and dealing with customers, friends and each other as they go about their day-to-day running the family business. 

On the outset, this premise seems quite simple. But for many of us from first and second generation families, this show represented something much deeper. 

While I am not Korean, I identified with the show because it encapsulated what life is like growing up as a second generation child in an East Asian household. From culture clashes with my parents, bickering with my sibling to choosing a career path in a more creative industry, these seemingly small and mundane things I saw represented on screen that mirror much of my own life. 

Kim’s was there when I had just left a job in a small northern city in Ontario, where I was the youngest and only journalist of colour in the newsroom, providing me moments of comfort when I needed it most. And it was also there when I moved out on my own, helping me feel less lonely around my new surroundings. 

Moreover, the portrayal of Umma and Appa (played by Jean Yoon and Paul Sun-Hyung Lee) was something I also resonated with. So often when we see our Asian elders portrayed on screen, their immigrant accents are used as a joke or to caricaturize characters. However, Umma and Appa were wholly realized characters, where accents were a part of them but not their defining quality. 

Throughout the show, you also learn that Umma and Appa are hardworking and kind, but not without complexities and flaws of their own. Appa is often proud and stubborn whenever someone challenges him. And while she often has good intentions, Umma tends to meddle in her family’s lives, much to their annoyance.  I chuckle when I see their dynamic on screen, because so much of their behaviour mirrors my parents. 

Knowing that these characters will soon be leaving the screens saddens me. Without having people like Umma and Appa, we risk losing out on seeing our mothers, fathers, aunts and uncles represented in mainstream media. 

That’s why I feel the end of Kim’s Convenience feels premature. 

This show was the first time many Asian Canadians saw themselves represented on screen. 

Giving us proper closure would not only help the show tie up loose ends, but show us that our stories matter. 

Because if there’s one thing Kim’s Convenience made me, it was to be proud of being Asian. No matter how I was feeling, I could count on this funny little sitcom to be a highlight of my week. 

I can only hope that a show like Kim’s Convenience inspires more creators to invest in our stories. 

One of the things I had personally hoped to see was a reconciliation between the family’s oldest son Jung (Simu Liu) and Appa, which each season of the show has moved closer towards. 

I know we may not get the ending so many of us wanted to see. But actor Simu Liu expressed the show’s departure perfectly, tweeting for us to use our imaginations to give the family a happy ending. 

“Promise me that you will live life that way. With forgiveness and empathy and above all else, love.

We never got our happy ending. It’s not too late for you.” 

Thank you Kim’s Convenience for the comfort you’ve provided to me and other fans across the world over these past five years. While you may be leaving out screens, I don’t see this as a goodbye forever. 

Instead, in the words of Appa, I’ll say this instead.

OK, SEE YOU. 

Oops. Maybe it was a sign to stop buying so much

The other day I received a shocking message. Wondering why my package had halted in the FedEx facility in my city, I called customer service to inquire further.

As it appears, I owed 100 dollars in duty fees for an item I paid 176 USD for.

To say to least, I was SHOCKED and a little miffed. I had never experienced this before, and decided to ask around why this was happening. Considering that I had already paid $20 dollars in shipping fees, I also wondered why I was being charged extra.

According to FedEx Canada, “All international shipments are subject to duty and taxes based on the destination country business rules…Duty and tax charges are separate from shipping fees as they are assessed by Canada Customs, not FedEx. The sender indicated for duty and taxes to be billed to the recipient which is why the amount is owing.” 

Not satisfied with the answer, I then emailed customer service with the company I purchased the item. They replied saying the shipping cost was to pay for gas and delivery fees. By law they had to declare the value of the item, and duties were not included in the sale.

To be honest, I am not really pleased with this answer. But eventually, I reluctantly paid the duty fee and have since decided that I will not be ordering online with this company anymore.

I feel like this is a sign that maybe I should limit my purchases during this period of physical distancing. Shopping has always been a form of therapy for me, but being at home all this time has certainly gotten me a bit restless. Now, I am hoping to purchase less clothes and focus on things that will enrich my experiences.

My next project is to decorate my patio so that I can spend the duration of my summer safely outside. That said, I will try to shop a bit more smartly, and only purchase from businesses that won’t charge me insane amounts of money.

That said, after my debacle with paying duty fees, I did some research. It appears that I can waive the fees in the future, but it will require a bit more effort. I found this article helpful. 

Things I’m loving at home: Tie-dye

It’s been about two and a half months since I started physical distancing and working from home, and being mostly alone has had its ups and downs. While the early days were a tough adjustment, I have found a couple of things to distract me.

One of my newfound joys during this time is tie-dying clothes. When I first read that this style was coming back, I was skeptical. Shouldn’t these colourful patterns just stick to little kids and summer camps?

But when I started staying at home, I found that tie-dye is not only a fun activity to do. When done right, it can look super tasteful! Plus, we all need a little colour in our lives.

While the thought of purchasing a 300 dollar sweatsuit occurred to me, I thought of a more affordable alternative. Why not do this myself?

I found a tie-dye kit at the dollar store, and went ahead and purchased a white sweatshirt and a pair of white joggers. All of this cost me a little less than 60 bucks. I realize I could have spent a little less, but all the white sweatshirts and pants were sold out in my size at Hanes. And so, I went to Aerie and bought a more stylish set.

I dyed my suit in some of my favourite colours: teal, purple, red and fuchsia. I realize these colours may seem a bit childish to some. But I absolutely love how it turned out!

You can watch my journey below:

Cleaning…for someone else

You don’t truly understand what it means to miss home when you’re away.

I mean this because I’m staying with someone who is extremely messy at the moment while on vacation.

There’s clothes everywhere, scum on the bath tub, rings around the toilet and unwashed dishes. And don’t get me started on that kitchen. It seriously needs Jesus.

Maybe I shouldn’t have done this, but the dirtiness of the apartment made me feel like it was going to make me sick. I took it upon myself to clean the apartment.

I don’t mind cleaning. In fact, it’s quite enjoyable and a work out! Just put on a podcast and you will have a productive hour or two!

I first started in the washroom, where the floors were full of dirt, dust and hair. After wiping the floor, I put the floor towel to the wash. It hadn’t been washed in ages! After that, I scrubbed the toilet, tub and the sink and counter.

The results aren’t perfect…but it’s definitely better than before. I proceeded then to wipe the floors of the living room area.

Realizing that I was sweating, I wondered…are all men this messy? I really do not understand how some of them can live in a pig sty and think it’s fine? Absolutely not.

I asked the man why he could let his place get to this point, and he said he was busy with other things. He didn’t deem cleaning at the top of his priority list. He said what if there was a war? He could survive in anything.

Listen fellas, for the sake of your friends, family and partners, please don’t live like slobs. I almost thought I walked into hoarder’s home when I arrived. I don’t understand how someone can live in such a state!

Aritzia winter sale haul

Call me late to the game, but I have recently gotten REALLY into Aritzia.

Growing up, I used to turn my nose up at girls who wore TNA leggings and carried their matching gym bags with them every where they went.

I would always wonder why anyone would waste their money on such expensive and basic things. But little did I know, I was just jealous deep down because I couldn’t afford any of the items.

Granted, I still think a lot of Aritzia things are extremely expensive. However, now that I am working full time, I can now afford buying clothes from the store whenever there is a sale.

People swear by Aritzia when it comes to buying basics. For me, I much prefer Uniqlo for its fit, quality and price.

That said, the things I choose to buy from Aritzia are things I consider staple and statement pieces that I can mix and match throughout the seasons.

Coming off of a HUGE winter sale, I managed to snag a few good items. I didn’t splurge as much as some people. But I did purchase a couple of things I know I will wear a lot for work and casual occasions.

Here is my loot:

Plaid Wilfred Free tie-up blouse

I actually purchased this top during its Black Friday sale for $30. It was a bit expensive for just a top, but Aritzia was offering free shipping and I couldn’t resist. I am now a little peeved that I didn’t wait longer. That’s because the top is now $20 in stores and on the website!!

Meh. Sales are always hit and miss. There is never the right or wrong time to get something. At least I saved $40 bucks on it.

Babaton Wieland Blouse in Starboard

Maybe I am basic, but I am a sucker for florals. Plain coloured blouses just don’t do it for me, and I had been eyeing this blouse for a while since it went on sale.

At first, I considered paying 30 bucks for it. But then, I saw it got five dollars cheaper. I contemplated buying it online. But when I found it in stores and tried it on in person, that pretty much helped me make the decision that this shirt was coming home with me.

Originally $80 dollars, I paid $25 bucks for it. I saved $55 dollars!

Floral Wallace Dress

You can never go wrong with buying a dress that you can dress up and down. Thanks to a generous gift card I received for my birthday, I chose to purchase this piece because the silhouette is timeless.

Aritzia dresses are always a bit too pricey for me, which is why getting a bit of help to pay for this piece was great for me. It is so cute! I can wear it with casual sandals or a pair of heels.

What’s best about this piece though, is that it only cost $40 bucks. The original price was $110. So if anyone’s counting, I saved $70 dollars!!

Ahrens skirt in light vintage blue

Seeing that I live in a denim skirt all summer long, I thought I would invest in a better quality version that I can wear to mix and match.

I originally intended to buy a black skirt. But alas, they did not have my size. However, I did come across the same version in a light vintage blue wash. I figured that it was just as versatile and cute!

I love that I can match this with practically any top. From T-shirts, blouses and button-ups, I know I will be living in this skirt when the weather gets warmer. What makes this skirt even better is that it comes with pockets!!!!

Originally $95 dollars, I only paid $35 dollars. That means I saved $60 dollars!!!

Thrifted finds: Brandy Melville and American Apparel

Since the month of September means going to TIFF for the first two weeks, I actually stopped my almost weekly ritual of heading to the thrift store.

But a couple of weeks ago, I decided to go thrifting again.

There are times when I go to a thrift store and leave empty-handed. But other times, I luck out and find some great finds!

The other day, I decided to head to a location I had never been before by St. Clair West Station. I have seen some vloggers talk about the location and find some cute things. The place isn’t very big, but I was told there were some gems.

The day I went happened to be a Tuesday, which is another sign that it was a good day to go thrifting. Another tip I’ve always been told was that stores often replenish the racks with new items on Tuesdays.

While there, I spent about an hour and a half checking out the racks. I didn’t want to buy a lot, but I really couldn’t pass up on these two items.

The first item was this American Apparel cropped Fisherman pullover that’s still selling on the website for $58 dollars.

The price at Salvation Army was only $6.99!

The other amazing item I found was this adorable Brandy Melville kimono for $5.99.

To be honest, I often find Brandy Melville problematic for their non-inclusive sizing and expensive prices for the quality.

But, my feelings are complicated because I do think their clothes are cute!!

Usually, I would not support a brand like this at full price. But seeing that this is secondhand, I was okay with that. Also, the kimono was one thing that actually fit me surprisingly!

Anyways, those were the items I ended up leaving with when i went thrifting. I SO love documenting my wonderful finds on this blog, and I hope to keep doing this. I think thrifting is so exciting because there’s always such a sense of accomplishment when you find such amazing things!